hey  everybody......  mexico  is  still  soo  much  fun!  i  kinda  left  my  lover   to  come  to  my  grandmas  place  again....  i  miss  him  a  LOT!  o  well......   i  feel  so  incredibly  bad,  depressed,  sad......   i  feel  as  if  im  not  a  part  of  anybodys  life  anymore,  i  feel  so  rejected  as  if  no  one  cares  about  me  anymore.   i  dont  like  this  feelin...  i  just  feel  like  sitting  in  a  corner  all  by  myself  and  listen  to  my  mp3  player  for  the  rest  of  my  life.  it  seems  that  the  only  time  im  happy  is  when  i  listen  to  music  or  when  i  remember  something  happy  thats  happened  in  my  life.  im  scared  of  going  to  school  again...  i  dont  wanna  be  alone,  i  dont  want  to  be  some  kind  of   loner  that  everyone  hates,  that  no  one  wants  to  be  around....   i  really  dont  know  what  i  would  do  without  people,  without  friends.  i  would  just  be  one  empty  person  with  no  life  inside  of  her....  gah!  i  also  dont  like  it  when  people  just  point  out  how  fat  you  are,  how  ugly,  or  how  STUPID  you  are!  who  the  fuck  are  they  to  do  that  to  people!!!!  i  just  dont  FUCKIN  understand  why  they  can  categorize  and  point  out  their  defects  to  them  when  they  perfectly  know  what  they  are  they  dont  need  to  be  reminded  every  FUCKIN  day  of  their  goddamn  LIFE!  and  even  if  they  dont  want  to  admit  to  bein  ugly  or  something  its  their  GODDAMN  problem!  you  know  what....  some  people  are  just  so  fuckin  lucky  that  im  a  patient  person  and  that  i  dont  really  express  myself   cuz  if  i  expressed  everything  inside  of  me  i  swear  to  bob  the  whole  world  would  HATE  me....  one  of  these  days  i  will  blow  and  those  mother  fuckin  people  would  wish  they  would  have  NEVER  pissed  me  off!  i  just  hate  the  way   some  people  are.....  just  because  I  dont  get  the  best  grades  in  the  world  OR  i  dont  act  SMART  doesnt  mean  im  STUPID!!!  i  dont   have  to  be  reminded  of  something  that  im  not!!  im  not  FUCKIN  STUPÍD!  im  proly  smarter  then  most  people!  i  swear  to  bob  i´ll  proly  need  some  therapy  later  in  life  before  i  KILL  someone.....    There  are  so  many  things  other  people  dont  see  but  to  the  ones  who  actually  try......  thank  you,  i  <3  you  with  ALL  of  my  heart.  one  more  thing,  i  know  im  not  perfect  and  i'll  proly  be  classified  as  a  hypochrite  for  wirting  this  but  im  just  writing  my  feelings.  i  know  that  i've  done  somethings  that  arent  the  best  things  that  a  person  could  do  BUT  i  really  dont  want  to  hurt  anybody,  i  dont  like  hurting  people  and  i  dont  like  treating  people  as  bad  as  some  treat  me.  i  just  hope  the  first  day  of  school  wont  be  as  HORRIBLE  as  i  picture  it  in  my  mind..... 

 SmOoChY, sMoOcHy  

Remember  i  told  you  guys  i  was  gonna  go  to  a  disco but  i  int  know  if  i  wanted  to  go..... WELL  i  went.  oh  my  fribbin  gah!  it  was  so  damn  FUN!!  i  swear  to  bob  it  was  the  funnest  thing  i  have  ever  done.  there  were  bubbles  and  foam  everywhere  it  was  as  if  you  could  swim  in  it  the  only  bad  thing  was  that  i  had  to  take  off  my  contacts  and  put  them  in  a   WATER  BOTTLE!  omfb  i  thought  i  was  gonna  lose  them  good  thing  i  didnt.  but  yea  how  can  i  describe  it...  i  DANCED  and  danced  some  more  you  couldnt  stop  me  it  was  as  if  something  took  over  me.  first  i  was  to  ashamed  of  dancing  in  front  of  them  cuz  i  didnt  know  if  my  dancing  was  good   enough  next  thing  you  know  you  couldnt  stop  me  with  anything  in  the  world!  HELL  YEA!  but  newayz....  i  came  to my  cousins  town  place  where  he  lives  and  i  gots  meself  a  boyfriend!!   haha  3  days  in   mexico  and  i  got  meself  a  bf!!  gah  i    him!  it  was  the  guy  i  told  everyone  bout  when  i  got  back  from  mex.  he  asked  me  out  yesterday  and  weve  already  kissed  like  8  times!   oh  god  im  sooooo  HAPPY!!!!  i  just  hope  my  vacation  will  keep  on  bein  FUN!  oh  yea  i  almost  forgot....  HAPPY  INDEPENDENCE  DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  au  revoir  mes  cheries!

 SmOoChY,  sMoOcHy

HEY EVERYBODIES!!!  im in MEXICO!!!  hell yea!  i got  here  2  days  ago  but  i  got  to  my  destination  at  2  in  fuckin  morning  yesterday.   i  didnt  sleep  one  bit  only  like  4  hrs.  oh  well  i  was  so  goddamn  excited  i  swear  to  fribbin  bob!    but  u  kno  wat  its  like  not  the  same  cuz  i  wanted  to  come  hither  to  see  my  babe,  you  know  the  one  who  lives  hither.  well  just  a  recap,  i  met  him  last  yr.  in  mex  but  not  in  the  pueblo  im  in  right  now  the  one  my  cuz  lives  at.  but  cha  i  fell  head  over  heals  in    with  this  mofo.  the  SUPERDIDUPER  good  news  is  that  im  goin  there  TOMORROW!!!  hell  yea!   im  sooooo  HAPPY!  i  dont  know  what  im  goin  to  do,  u  kno  what  after  so  long  i  still thing  i  feel  something  for  this  guy  i  just  hope  something.....  anything  will  happen  between  us  .  i  think  there  is.  (i  hope)   but  cha,  i  feel  so  goddamn  accomplished  cuz  i  paid  for  EVERYTHING!  clothes,  bathing  suits,  pair  o  shosies,  passport,  n  plane  ticket.   also  i  didnt  get  sick  on  the  PLANE  or  on  the  bus (well  a  lil  on  the  bus).   today  we´re  supposed  to  go  to  a  discoteque.  but  u  kno  what  for  the  first  ever  time  i  dont  wanna  go  to  any  kind  of  dance  i  just  feel  lazy.....  i  guess  im  also  afraid  of  what  people  say  of  my  dancing.  i  mean  i  know  its  not  the  greates  thing  in  the  world  but  i  can  dance....., sorta.....  n  iono.  its  supposed  to  be  a  dance  with  foam  or  something  like  that.  maybe  i  will  go  to  find  some  fling  or  something,  i  AM  here  to  have  fun  after  all!  i´ll   keep  you  guys  updated  on  shit  that  happens......   ....  i  leave  you  with  a  pic  of   my  2nd  cousin:

  i  just  hope  it  shows  up...... 

 SmOoChY, sMoOcHy

SURVEY!
[ ] I am bisexual or homosexual.
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[] I listen to political music.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[x] I open up to others easily.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I watch the news.
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an iPod or MP3.
[x] I own something from Hot Topic.
[x] I love Disney Movies.
[x] I am a sucker for hair/eyes.
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I curse regularly.
[] I paid for that cell phone ring.
[] I am a sports fanatic.
[] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[x] I've slipped out an "lol" in a real conversation.
[ ] I love Spam.
[x] I bake well.
[x] I would wear pajamas to school.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.
[x] I have a job.
[ ] I love Martha Stewart.
[x] I am in love with love.
[ ] am guilty oF tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I am self conscious.
[x] I like to laugh.
[ ] I smoke a pack a day.
[ ] I loved Perks of Being a Wallflower.
[ ] I loved Go Ask Alice.
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
[] I eat fast food weekly.
[x] I have many scars.
[x] I've been out of this country.
[] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] i am really ticklish.
[ ] I see a therapist.
[x ] I love chocolate.
[x] I bite my nails.
[] I am comfortable with being me.
[] I play video games.
[x] Gotten lost in my city.
[ ] Saw a shooting star
[x] Been to any other countries besides the united states (this question repeats)
[] I Had a serious Surgery
[x] Gone out in public in your pajamas
[x] I have Kissed a Stranger
[x] Hugged a stranger  (YES!!  have  you  guys  read  my  PINS!)
[x] Been in a fist fight
[] Been arrested
[] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[ ] Made out in an elevator
[ ] Mooned someone through a glass elevator
[ ] Swore at your parents
[] Kicked a guy where it hurts.
[x] Been close to love
[x] Been to a casino
[ ] Been skydiving
[x] Broken a bone
[x] Skipped school
[ ] Flashed someone
[ ] Saw a therapist
[ ] Done the splits
[x] Played spin the bottle
[x] Gotten stitches
[x] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
[x] bitten somebody
[ ] Been to Niagara Falls
[x] Gotten the chicken pox
[ ] Crashed into a friend's car
[ ] Been to Japan
[x] Ridden in a taxi
[ ] Shoplifted
[ ] Been fired
[ ] Ever had a crush on someone of the same sex
[x] Had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
[ ] Stole something from your job
[x] Gone on a blind date
[x] Lied to a friend
[x] Had a crush on a teacher
[ ] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans
[ ] Been to Europe
[ ] Slept with a co-worker
[ ] Been married
[ ] Gotten divorced
[ ] Had children
[ ] Saw someone dying
[ ] Been to Africa
[x ,  my  daddy (trip  to  mex   or  cali)] Driven over 400 miles in one day
[ ] Been to Canada
[x] Been to Mexico
[x] Been on a plane
[ ] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
[ ] Thrown up in a bar
[x] Eaten Sushi
[ ] Been snowboarding
[ ] Been Skiing
[] Met someone in person from the internet (kind  creepy...)
[] Been to a moto cross show
[ ] Lost a child
[ ] Gone to college
[ ] Graduated college
[ ] Done hard drugs
[x] Taken painkillers
[x] Had someone cheat on you
[x] Miss someone right now

FELIZ 5  DE  MAYO!!!!!  well  yea  like  always  nothing  interesting  has  happened  to  me.  well   i  went  up  for  cadet  of  the  year  on  tues  and  i  sucked  ass  at  it  and  the  worst  thing  is  that  i  lost  to  FRESHMEN  BOYS!!!!  grrr!!   and  like  when  i  got  out  of  there  i  went  to  the  bathroom  and  started  to  cry  :'(.  yep  i  did,  sandra  cried.  i  was  so  upset  cuz  i  had  tried  so  damn  hard  to  the  pt  that  i  spent  4  HOURS  on  my  shoes  four  hours  of  my  life  were  spent  on  that  when  i  couldve  been  talkin  on  the  phone  or  something  but  NOOOO  i  worked  on  my  shoes  and  then  my  uniform  looked  kinda  crappy  so   i  had  to  work  on  that  TOO  and  then  i  had  to  STUDY  for  the  questions  they  were  gonna  ask  and  on  top  of  everything  i  was  hella  SICK!  i  did  all  of  that  for  NOTHING!!! ARGG!!  i  tried  so  hard  though  its  a  good  thing  i  did  not  crack  under  pressure  even  though  i  felt  like  i  was  gonna  pass  out  cuz  everything  was  goin  black  but  NOOOO  i  kept  talking  and  trying  to  answer  the  hella  hard  questions  they  gave  me.  o well........ but  on  the  bright  side  i  got  3  more  ribbons!  :D    well  ya  ima  go  on  a  fieldtrip  tommorrow  and  have  girls  night out  with  di  IF  shes still gonna  do  it!!  and  ima  go out  on  SATURDAY!!!  holy  fribbin  shite,  i  havent  gone  out  in  the  longest  time  EVER!!   im  so  excited,  i  just  hope  i  dont  get  grounded  again......  i  swear  to  bob  its  mi  mothers  hobby  to  do  that  to me.  well  ima  go  now.  bye  my  beautifully  smexylicious  peoples!!

SmOoChY. sMoOcHy